butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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