so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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