I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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