he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
