Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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