then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
