WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
NoShamevember. You game?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
