just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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