Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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