my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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