The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
