Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
