the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
