I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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