D3 body, D1 cock
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
