Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
