It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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