Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
