My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
