his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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