so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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