I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All the doctor said was why
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
