Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
