Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
