Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
then he tried to convert me to islam
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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