why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
