I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
