Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
