Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
