Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
