So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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