I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
