Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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