I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
