Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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