We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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