I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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