I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
