I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just sent this text using only my big toe
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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