I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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