have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
