just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
