if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
