people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
