I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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