have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
nutella sex= disaster
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
