Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
