dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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