no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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