I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
