no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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