I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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