I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
