I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
