I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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