got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
