i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
